How do I want my children to remember me? How do I want my husband to view my role as caretaker of our home and family? What can I do to ensure the well-being, financial stability, and happiness of future family?
Of course I've turned to my Heavenly Father in prayer. Asking Him to guide my thoughts, and lead me to answers. At this point, I don't remember when the idea first got planted into my head, but I started to realize... I have SO. MUCH. STUFF. And WE as a couple have SO. MUCH. STUFF.
We have so much food that lots of it goes to waste, yet our grocery bill often stays the same. I have so many clothes that I can't fit anymore in my closet, but I still shop. We have so much stuff that we can't even FIT anything else in our apartment, yet I'm still on Amazon pretty frequently wondering what I can get with my parent's Amazon Prime. So I started cutting back on our grocery bill, planning our dinners ahead of time and only buying what we need. Hello $26 grocery bills! So much better than what we have been previously spending which I won't even mention, you can just guess but it's more than double that. And I went through my closet and gave away everything that didn't fit or I wouldn't wear and vowed to buy no new clothes for a month. I could probably go a whole month without even wearing the same thing twice! Talk about spoiled. And since making that promise to myself, I've worn two tops that I haven't worn in months, and ya know what? They are still cute! I've even got a library card and have checked out a few books I've been dying to read rather than buying them brand new from Barnes & Noble.
And it's been INVIGORATING.
Maybe this has seemed like a word vomit to you, or a mess of a blog post. When I asked Heavenly Father to reveal my weaknesses in the area of excess to me, he kindly has enlightened me and broadened my view. I've realized what things I need to personally work on, and has given me so many ideas of preparing our family financially for the future. I'm excited about the changes I am making in my life, even though I know it's not easy to make permanent life style changes.
When all is said and done, I just want to be good. I want to become like my Savior. So giving, and thoughtful and kind that those who love me don't care what I wear, how my hair looks, or what car I'm driving. I want to be wealthy in the things that money can't buy, and have the money in savings we need for when things go wrong as they inevitably will. I want to be a wife and a mother who LOVES her children and husband more than shopping, more than the iPhone 6 and more than fancy furniture. THAT'S how I want to be remembered. As someone who gave her entire life up to God, and let Him help mold me into the person HE knows I can become.