This post is inspired by the Visiting Teaching Message this month.
As far as anyone knew it was just a normal Sunday. I was sitting in Sunday School when I knew that a sob fest was about to occur. I leaned over to my roommate and told her I needed to be alone but that I'd be back to pick them up after church.
I got in my car, called one of my closest friends and began sobbing. Some of it is a blur. I remember being in my car. I remember my phone dying and driving back to my apartment through the tears. I remember kneeling on my bathroom floor asking Heavenly Father to help me stop shaking. And I remember collapsing on the floor when my friend picked up and said,
"Brooklyn, everything is going to be okay."
I faintly remember the conversation. I remember spilling my guts to him and telling him exactly what I wanted and why it was hurting me so much and he told me something that has stuck with me ever since.
No matter what I do, I won't make it through life without getting hurt. And it's worth getting hurt to go after what you want. He told me that it's true that no one on this earth knew my pain, they didn't know what I was experiencing, but that Christ did. He understood perfectly. Because he felt all my pain and sorrows already.
Despite all of the sob fests I had over the next few months, I have decided on one thing for certain...
I am grateful for trials.
Trials have a way of refining us in ways that nothing else can. They teach us how strong we are, and prepare us for our future callings.
I'd been betrayed and lied to. I'd been used. I'd lost very good friends because of misunderstandings. I'd been in a car accident that unexpectedly put me in the emergency room and has left me afraid to drive to this day. I'd been hated. I'd been gossiped about and I've had my heart shattered into a million pieces.
But I wouldn't give up those experiences for ANYTHING.
Because those were defining moments in my life.
Because they strengthened me and taught me who I am and who I can rely on.
Because they showed me just how much I can handle and just how nice I can be, even to those who may not be the most deserving in our eyes.
Because those experiences showed me how precious life is.
My roommate wrote me a note amidst all this that told me that when she is feeling so upset that she can't even get the words out, sometimes she just tells God, "Please hold me." And that she can almost instantly FEEL His embrace.
It worked. Christ held me. He comforted me when no amount of Chickfila would do. And when no matter what anyone said or did, I was still physically ill over the situation. Christ took me into his arms and said, "Come here little lamb, have you forgotten that YOU are mine? And my how precious and beautiful you are."
In those loneliest, darkest, sleepless most heart wrenching nights; Christ became my very best friend.
And I wouldn't trade that relationship for the world.