50 Shades of... Tolerance?

I'm not sure where I really want this post to go. On one hand, I thought about writing a blog post about my disgust for the 50 Shades of Grey movie trailer, the book, and all it entails. I thought about talking about how it is against my religion, why I won't be seeing it, and how it truly is pornographic. I wanted to stand up for what I believe, and tell the world that I will never stand behind a story that doesn't teach women what healthy relationships are.

But after posting a link to THIS BLOG POST by Fight The New Drug, I started a controversy. A small one, but a controversial conversation nonetheless. It was mostly civil. And I was glad to see it was.

Something that has been on my mind lately is inclusion, tolerance and love. I've been trying to picture Christ in every situation of my life, and thinking, "What would he do if he were here?" And in this situation, I knew he would NEVER be okay with media such as 50 Shades of Grey. He wouldn't watch it and he would probably have encouraged his friends and family to avoid it as well.



But he wouldn't attack those who went to see it would he? He wouldn't tell them they were awful, or horrid or disgusting right? Would he warn them though? Would he tell them it was poison? That the influence of such could truly ruin sexual relationships? And in turn eventually ruin marriages and families? Or give young men and women the wrong ideas about intimacy and marriage?

Bible prophets foretold a time when men would be "lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God." (2 Timothy 3:4) And it's easy to see that that time foretold is now. But we've also been taught to "live peaceably with all men." (Romans 12:18) So how do we do that when we disagree? When we KNOW someone else is wrong?

The current president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Thomas S. Monson, has taught: “The face of sin today often wears the mask of tolerance. Do not be deceived; behind that facade is heartache, unhappiness, and pain. … If your so-called friends urge you to do anything you know to be wrong, you be the one to make a stand for right, even if you stand alone." 

And in a talk by Dallin H. Oaks he said, "Our obligation to tolerance means that none of these behaviors—or others we consider deviations from the truth—should ever cause us to react with hateful communications or unkind actions."

We don't have to read the book or see the movie to stand against it, but we also don't have to spread hate to those who are fans. We can each prayerfully decide how to respond to those who love Mr. Christian Grey. Or what to say if someone says, "It's just a story." And we don't have to clutter our minds with the words, thoughts and feelings that the book and movie will most certainly bring. 

We can be tolerant, loving, and patient without being submissive. I stand against the concept of 50 Shades of Gray, but I have friends that LOVE it. I can still be their friends. We don't have to argue about it, but we are EACH entitled to our own opinion. Agency anyone? 

These words of President Hinckley have never rung more true...

“Let us reach out to those in our community who are not of our faith. Let us be good neighbors, kind and generous and gracious. Let us be involved in good community causes. There may be situations where, with serious moral issues involved, we cannot bend on matters of principle. But in such instances we can politely disagree without being disagreeable. We can acknowledge the sincerity of those whose positions we cannot accept. We can speak of principles rather than personalities.”

Principles rather than personalities. Beliefs don't make a person good or bad. We can choose to love as the Savior would, it may not be easy, but it will be worth it.


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If you feel that other's could benefit from this message, PLEASE share.

To read more of my thoughts....
Balancing Truth and Tolerance
50 Shades of Grey: Why We're Not Cool With It
50 Shades of Confusion


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21 comments:

Alisha H. said...

I don't take part in that sort of media either. In fact, I don't even watch TV or movies anymore besides maybe twice a year. It's all become worse and I've become bored with it anyway.

Taneja's Bride said...

Honestly, I have NO idea what the Fifty Shades of Grey is about except for it's a controversial relationship between two people (or more? NO idea) and that will be how I will leave it! :)

daniela said...

I really like your viewpoint. I agree - don't judge those that like it just cause you don't - but still stand up for what you believe in. Tolerance doesn't mean agreeing with "the other side" - I still think you can teach principles and in all things look to the teachings of the Prophet to know what media to seek after and what to stay away from. I love that Pres Hinckley quote about disagreeing without being disagreeable. Great post. :)

Camille Millecam Whiting said...

I actually regularly speak about pornography and its harmful impacts to young single adults- and I can tell you this is exactly how Satan is snaring most females these days- with the emotional side of porn.
But I agree, it's not the place of anyone to judge the sinner- just to warn them!

Laura, The Start of a Good Life said...

i agree completely. with your opinion of the book and your stance. I will add though, that it makes me sad when I learn of other believers who don't see anything wrong with such media. It is affecting them, whether they know it or not. While I don't push my 'standards' on them, it does make me sad.

Lauren @ Lot Forty Eight said...

Thank you for posting Brooklyn. I have purposely avoided everything related to the book and didn't even really know what it is about until I was the link to fight the new drug. Disgusting. Why do people encourage this??

Lauren @ Lot Forty Eight said...

Thank you for posting Brooklyn. I have purposely avoided everything related to the book and didn't even really know what it is about until I was the link to fight the new drug. Disgusting. Why do people encourage this??

Esther Ju*Lee said...

i usually don't like to participate in the controversy because it's tiring. i think what hinckley says is true. it really depends on the situation. i usually won't try to speak into someone's life unless i know it's appropriate and they know i am coming from a place where they know they are loved.

Kendall Rayburn said...

You're right - just because you don't agree with something doesn't mean it's wrong. No one has the right to judge.

Francia Benson said...

While I do respect people who like that kind of things, I don't think it is healthy for any relationship. Being submissive in any circumstance is not emotionally healthy, especially in something so intimate like sex. I wouldn't be able to enjoy sex while my husband is feeling submissive and inferior. I want him to feel good about himself. I don't want to be the dominant one and I don't want him to be. We both are equal and have the right to respect.

Joanna Sormunen said...

I haven't read the book and I won't see the movie. For the reasons you stated.

Nicole said...

I'm glad to see that you're being somewhat reasonable on this issue. Most people want to shove their opinions down other people's throats and don't care what anyone else says. You're making the effort to "disagree, without being disagreeable." I like that.

You always have to be mindful that not everyone shares your religion, your beliefs, your opinions. And that's okay. You might think this book/movie will lead to marriages falling apart, but for some, it could have the opposite effect. So, rather than judge others for what they believe or think, I think it's best to just not worry about other people. The movie is just for entertainment, after all.

Miranda Myrabev said...

Wow such an amazing post, I came to the same conclusion about 50 shades of something

Alicia Snow said...

This post is perfect!! Exactly how I feel on the issue!

Cailin Koy said...

I don't judge others for liking this sort of thing, but it's not really my cup of tea either. It's not for any moral reasons - I just am not comfortable consuming sexualized media. To me, sex is a subject I like left in the bedroom. But it's not a moral position - it's just my personal preference. Maybe I'm just not as sexual of a person.

Raewyn @ Be A Warrior Queen said...

Thank you for keeping an open mind about others likes and beliefs. We are all different and the people who like those books and those who participate in those acts do not deserve to be judged.

Sarah Shermann said...

I've not read the book and wouldn't be seeing the movie because the little I know about it sounded stupid

Ashley said...

I haven't read the book so I don't know anything about this movie, but most likely won't be seeing it. Thanks for your thoughts!

Laura Elizabeth said...

I read all three books. I've stumbled across sex scenes in books before and I don't know, I guess because sex is a natural thing, it didn't bug me. I figured, this couldn't be anything that horrible.

There was one scene where it was absolutely horrible but beyond that, it was just strange. and horribly written, but I totally get that not everyone is going to want to venture out and read stuff like that. But I really hate when people try to guilt trip me into being a bad Christian because curiosity got the best of me. My opinion is, people are reading it, some who have never picked up a book in their lives outside of school. As an author, that's all I can ask is that someone gets readers to pick up the first book, regardless of how awful or "slutty" or whatever it may be.

Kristine@thefoleyfam said...

It's definitely not easy and something I struggle with. But like you stated so worth it!

Erin Kelly said...

Well said. I've been in circles where people were getting so excited about the book/movie and I feel like you do. I didn't say anything, but prayed that if I needed to, God would guide my words with grace.
I am THRILLED to have come across your blog -- all because you liked one of my tweets. :) God even "uses" technology, doesn't He? Have a great night.
Erin
www.itallmattersmom.com