how to stay married for 44 years

Yesterday at school I had the opportunity to cut the hair of an elderly man. After some brief small talk, he asked if I was married. I told him we had just recently hit our 5 month anniversary. He got the hugest smile on his face and said to me, "Ain't marriage wonderful?"

He proceeded to talk about his wife who had Alzheimer's. She passed away last year. This May would have been their 44th wedding anniversary. 

They got engaged just a few months after knowing each other. And married just as quickly. As an 18 year old married couple, all the odds and statistics in the world were against them. 

I asked him what his advice would be, for a newlywed like myself. What's the secret to a long-lasting and joyous marriage?



He said, to look back at wedding photos, and think of the love you felt for your husband on that day. Never let a problem go unsolved, talk things out and NEVER yell at one another. Compromise about activities you do together, you don't have to love the same things, you just have to learn to take turns doing the things you love as individuals as a couple. And to put God first. 

One of the most significant things that has been running through my mind since, is that he said once you are married, it's not husband and wife, it's a couple. You do things together, you make decisions together, and you grow together. Your marriage relationship creates oneness, and it's our responsibility to keep that oneness as close as possible. 

The old man left me one of the biggest tips I've received so far and left me eternally grateful for the priceless lessons he taught me in a 30 minute haircut.

10 comments:

Kat @ Kat Katastrophe said...

How precious! I love when people give you life advice when you're least expecting it!

Life with Amberly said...

You can learn the greatest things from clients! :) I learned so many things from all of the people I met while I was in cosmetology school.

Whitney M. @ The Married Me said...

I love the elderly! So wise they are!

Casey said...

I love this post. Experienced couples make me so happy. The lives they have lived are so precious and wonderful, and I love the fact that they want to share their advice. Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.

Amanda Huggett Hofland said...

Wow, such great advice, and yet so simple! Love it.

The Rachael Way said...

I love this post!! Great writing, Brooklyn.

Savanna said...

This is too sweet. I love hearing from wise old couples who made it through it all!

Rachel said...

Now that's one of the best clients to get!! I've seen some examples of sticktuitiveness in my own family and life--one of my sets of grandparents are celebrating their 50th anniversary this year, and the other set is already at 54 years...it seems like the time flies!

Garner said...

It is really very sweet that you getting married with your love one!! I am really very impressed with your wedding photography and wedding locations. Great job done!! 
location for vows

Garner said...

It is really very sweet that you getting married with your love one!! I am really very impressed with your wedding photography and wedding locations. Great job done!! 
location for vows